Then Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, burned with anger. He burned with anger at Job because he justified himself rather than God.
Elihu
became righteously indignant as he observed Job’s three friends condemn him
without accurately pinpointing exactly what he had done wrong. What am I
addressing here is not the parental responsibility to point out sinful behavior
and character deficiencies in the child, but rather the critical, condemning,
accusing, judgmental attitude that so often accompanies legitimate attempts at
reproof. I am referring to the kind of “spirit” that leads a child to believe
that his parents are never or rarely pleased with him.
When
the Lord Jesus was reproving the Ephesian church for losing her first love, He
began with a list of those behaviors that please Him (Rev. 2). Perhaps the most
effective safeguard against this provocation is for parents to purpose to
praise, commend, and acknowledge biblical achievement with greater frequency
than they reprove. This is not to imply a reduction in the number of reproofs,
but rather to suggest an increase in the number of commendations. If you are a
parent who has a tendency to nitpick about everything, I suggest that you
memorize and meditate upon the following:
Proverbs 19:11
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it
is his glory to overlook an offense.
Remember
that although you have the responsibility to identify character flaws in your
children for the purpose of training and correction, it is not always necessary
to turn every non-characterological (non-habitual) sin into a mini-sermon.
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