Monday, November 2, 2015

9. Constantly Finding Fault

Job 32:2-3
Then Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, burned with anger. He burned with anger at Job because he justified himself rather than God.

Elihu became righteously indignant as he observed Job’s three friends condemn him without accurately pinpointing exactly what he had done wrong. What am I addressing here is not the parental responsibility to point out sinful behavior and character deficiencies in the child, but rather the critical, condemning, accusing, judgmental attitude that so often accompanies legitimate attempts at reproof. I am referring to the kind of “spirit” that leads a child to believe that his parents are never or rarely pleased with him.

When the Lord Jesus was reproving the Ephesian church for losing her first love, He began with a list of those behaviors that please Him (Rev. 2). Perhaps the most effective safeguard against this provocation is for parents to purpose to praise, commend, and acknowledge biblical achievement with greater frequency than they reprove. This is not to imply a reduction in the number of reproofs, but rather to suggest an increase in the number of commendations. If you are a parent who has a tendency to nitpick about everything, I suggest that you memorize and meditate upon the following:

Proverbs 19:11
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

Remember that although you have the responsibility to identify character flaws in your children for the purpose of training and correction, it is not always necessary to turn every non-characterological (non-habitual) sin into a mini-sermon.

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