16. Failing to Keep Your Promises

Matthew 5:37
Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

Psalm 15:4-5

In whose eyes a vile person is despised, but who honors those who fear the Lord; who swears to his own hurt and does not change; who does not put out his money at interest and does not take a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things shall never be moved.

Colossians 3:9

Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices.

Promises and commitments are usually made with every intention of keeping them and no intent to deceive. However, when promises and commitments consistently are not kept, regardless of the reason, and an attempt is not made to break the contract biblically (see Proverbs 6:1-5) or forgiveness is not sought from a child for breach of contract, his disappointment turns into anger. As the string of broken promises gets longer and longer, and the child increasingly views his parents an undependable, unreliable, and deceitful, his anger may intensify proportionately.

Many responses may occur in the heart of a child whose hopes have been dashed by broken promises. Unless children are taught appropriate biblical responses, they may struggle with some of the following emotions:

·        Disappointment and discouragement

·        Suspicion and cynicism – unwillingness to trust

·        Rejection – hurt feelings

·        Bitterness and resentment

·        Loss of respect or contempt for parents

·        Thoughts of being unloved

Any of these, if not dealt with biblically, can easily lead to anger and then to rebellion.