18. Not Allowing Enough Freedom

James 3:17a
But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

Luke 12:48b

 But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.

Children, rather than expecting their parents to simply hand them freedom on a silver platter, ought to be willing to earn freedom by demonstrating that they are faithful. Faithfulness involves demonstrating to God and others that you can be trusted with increasing freedom based on at least two things: the successful fulfillment of specific responsibilities and the successive competence to make biblically wise decisions.

When children start demonstrating such faithfulness and parents do not reward them with the freedom and the trust commensurate with their achievement, they can become exasperated, discourages, and even give up. Common reasons why parents do not give their children enough freedom include: overprotectiveness, insecurity, fear, unbiblical standards based on tradition rather than Scripture, inordinate desires to have perfect children, and inordinate concern for what others might think. By not rewarding faithfulness with requisite freedom, parents may hinder a form of motivation that is inherently biblical – the desire to earn trust.