Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Hebrews 12:15
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
Perhaps the greatest provocation of anger in children is
parents who do not live with each other in the harmony that the Scriptures prescribe.
The verse above, containing the term “one flesh,” appears a total of five times
in the Bible. If a husband and wife do not develop “one flesh” intimacy
intended by God, then over time various other problems will develop. Of these,
one of the most common is that each spouse is tempted to develop a deeper level
of intimacy with something or someone else, rather than with their spouse.
Typically, the husband develops closer ties with people at work or play (or
with the job or recreation itself). The wife, characteristically, develops a
spiritually unbalanced relationship with the children. Once this occurs, it is
usually just a matter of time before the home becomes child-centered.
Another correlation between lack of marital harmony and
angry children is the defiling effect that bitterness has on others. As the
child observes the resentment that results from their parents’ lack of harmony,
they become more susceptible to acquiring those bitter thoughts, motives,
attitudes, and actions that they have seen modeled by their parents. Look again
at Hebrews 12:15. See to it that no one
fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and
causes trouble, and by it many become defiled. The “many” most likely to be
defiled when Mom and Dad are bitter at each other are the children. If you can
keep your children from developing bitterness, you will have gone a long way in
preventing them from developing anger.
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