5. Scolding

Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as it fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Mark 14:3-5

And while he was at Bethany in the house of Simon the leper, as he was reclining at the table, a woman came with an alabaster flask of ointment of pure nard, very costly, and she broke the flask and poured it over his head. There were some who said to themselves indignantly, “Why was the ointment wasted like that? For this ointment could have been sold for more than three hundred denarii and given to the poor.” And they scolded her.

One of the Greek words from which the term scolding (in the above text) was derived, means “to sort with anger.” It was used to describe the snorting of horses. In his book, Hints on Child Training, first published in 1891, H. Clay Trumbull, considered by any people to be the founder of Sunday school, explains:

“To ‘scold’ is to assail or revile with boisterous speech. The word itself seems to have a primary meaning akin to that of barking or howling.

Scolding is always an expression of a bad spirit and of a loss of temper…the essence of the scolding is in the multiplication of hot words in expression of strong feelings that while eminently natural, ought to be held in better control.

If a child has done wrong, a child needs a talking to; but no parent ought to talk to a child while that parent is unable to talk in a natural tone of voice, and with carefully measured words. If the parent is tempted to speak rapidly, or to multiply words without stopping to weigh them, or to show an excited state of feeling, the parent’s first duty is to gain entire self-control. Until that control is secured, there is no use of the parent’s trying to attempt any measure of child training. The loss of self-control is for the time being an utter loss of power for the control of others.

In giving commands or in giving censure to a child, the fewer and the more calmly spoken words are better. A child soon learns that scolding means less than quiet talking; and he even comes to find a certain satisfaction in waiting silently until the scolder has blown off the surplus feeling which vents itself in this way. There are times, indeed, when words may be multiplied to advantage in explaining to a child the nature and consequences of his offense, and the reasons why he should do differently in the future; but such words should always be spoken in gentleness, and in self-controlled earnestness. Scolding – rapidly spoken censure and protest, in the exhibit of strong feeling – is never in order as a means of training and directing a child.”